Teetering: Between the Life I Have & the One I’m Building (February 2025)

There’s a thin line between knowing and becoming. Between waking up in the world and waking up to the world. Between obligation and freedom. Between flesh and spirit.

And I’m standing on it. Balancing. Teetering.

One foot planted in the life that was—structured, expected, demanding. A world that doesn’t care for my spirit, only my output. The work, the grind, the clocking in, the endless demands, the whisper of a paycheck that never quite feels like ownership. The illusion of stability.

The other foot? It’s already stepping into something else. A knowing so deep it feels like remembering. A life where my labor feeds mine first. Where my daughter grows up witnessing sovereignty, not just hearing about it. Where fiat cash means less than true wealth—time, creation, and alignment. Where I move how I want, when I want, because I am the author of my own damn story.

But here I am. Teetering.

The world tells me to stay put. To be practical. To be grateful for what is. But my soul? It calls me forward. It whispers the truth that most people ignore—that this system was never built for me to thrive. That the hamster wheel was never mine to run. That real freedom requires faith so audacious it looks like madness to those still plugged in.

And that’s where the battle lies.

Flesh or Spirit?

Every single day, that’s the choice.

The flesh is tired. Tired of giving. Tired of showing up. Tired of pretending this is all there is.The spirit, though? The spirit is hungry. It has seen glimpses of what’s possible, and it refuses to settle. It reminds me that stepping fully into what’s mine means letting go of the illusion.

And letting go? That’s the hardest part.

Because the illusion is comfortable. The illusion is familiar. The illusion is what most people still cling to. And sometimes, that makes the truth feel lonely.

But I didn’t come here to be comfortable. I didn’t come here to be regular.

I came here to build. To transform. To break chains and open doors. To create a world where Zee doesn’t have to spend her adulthood unlearning—because she was given truth from the start.

So yeah, I’m teetering.

But I won’t teeter for long.

At some point, I have to jump.

And when I do? I won’t fall. I’ll fly.